


Breaking the Cycle

by Banashee



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [20]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Parenting, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Child Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25221394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Banashee/pseuds/Banashee
Summary: Howard Stark is not a good father, and it leaves lasting wounds even decades later. So naturally, Tony swears to be different.When his daughter Morgan is born, he's wondering how a parent can fuck up like his own father did because the little girl is a miracle, and he knows he would do everything for her.*+~Part 20 of my Bad Things Happen BingoSquare: "Verbal abuse"
Relationships: Edwin Jarvis & Tony Stark, Howard Stark & Tony Stark, Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe) & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1701046
Comments: 8
Kudos: 57
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	Breaking the Cycle

**Author's Note:**

> Hi,  
> so, because I love a good writing challenge, I'm now taking a part in the Bad Things Happen Bingo.  
> https://badthingshappenbingo.tumblr.com/  
> Please mind the tags!
> 
> I'm cross-posting this to my tumblr, https://banashee.tumblr.com
> 
> This is my twentieth square: "Survivor's guilt".

****

**Breaking the Cycle**

Tony is sitting on the living room floor, quietly occupying himself with a wooden car that he’s pushing back and forth on the marble floor. He’s been doing so for hours, as his day has been rather uneventful. 

He’s spent all morning with Jarvis, who is now preparing lunch and asked Tony to play by himself for a little while. The butler reassured him he’ll only be one room over and just a call away, so Tony had agreed, settling down with his toys. 

Even at four years old, he’s already showing signs that he’s almost certainly inherited his father's brilliant mind. While being a curious child, attentive and intelligent, he also likes to explore the world in his own way, just smelling the flowers and playing around. Just like any other child does.

But his son being just like any other child is not good enough for Howard Stark. 

So when Howard walks into the room, distracted and talking to no one in particular, he almost trips over one of the other small wooden cars on the floor.

The steps make Tony look up from his game, face lighting up at the sight of his Dad. But Dad doesn’t look happy at all, he glares at him and snarls angrily.

“For fuck’s sake, Tony! Pick this up! And go do something useful instead of wasting your time.” 

One of his hands is audibly hitting the doorframe, and then Howard is leaving Tony there, sitting on the floor and completely shocked by the outburst of anger. He’s so taken aback, he doesn’t even cry, simply remains where he is, speechless. 

The little boy looks after Howard, his brown eyes wide and shiny while he’s still trying to make sense of it all. He’d only been playing, and he didn’t mean to mess up.

The toy drops out of his small hand and clatters to the floor where it lands on it’s side. 

Then, he is gently picked up by Jarvis, who came rushing out of the kitchen as soon as he’s heard Howard yelling. Tony wraps his arms around the butlers neck as he scoops him up in a well practised motion, pressing close to him and still in shock. This certainly isn’t the first time his father has yelled, but it’s the first time he’s scared him like this.

It still rings in his ears, and Jarvis keeps him wrapped up in his arms, hoping to comfort the boy. They stay like that and the toys remain where they are for now. If Howard comes back now, which is unlikely but still, Edwin swears he’ll get in between his master and this child, no matter what. 

Jarvis never raises his voice. He is always friendly, always calm, even when he is scolding. With him, Tony feels safe at any given time.

When they pick up the toys from the floor and put them away, Jarvis keeps talking to him in that patient, reassuring way, voice laced with britishness even after so many years overseas. 

“Your father doesn’t mean it.” he says, faintly hoping it is not a lie, but even so - for now, Tony is still young enough to believe it - he probably won’t be for much longer.

“But it is important that we clean up after ourselves and not leave our belongings laying around where people can trip and hurt themselves.” Jarvis explains not for the first time as they pack wooden cars with little wheels into their box on the shelf, and Tony nods, because he knows but needs to be reminded sometimes.

“Okay. I’m sorry, Jarvis.” he says, looking up at the kind grey eyes with his own dark ones.

“It’s alright. Just try to remember it next time, okay?” Another nod, and he continues, “Thank you still for apologizing.” He’s smoothing down the boys dark hair with one hand, trying not to dwell too much on how he always leans into even the smallest of affections. 

Then, he takes Tony by the hand as they walk towards the garden. 

It’s a beautiful place, various kinds of rich and colorful flowers everywhere. There is also a swing set in the back, and Jarvis is leading him right there.

“We shall go outside and occupy ourselves there, Master Anthony. Perhaps I will be able to sneak out a bowl of ice cream for you later.” he adds with a small smile, getting a bright smile and excited little “Yai!” in response.

But he is wondering in the privacy of his own mind for how long this will be enough to keep this little boy safe. How long until leaving the house for a bit won’t be enough to wait for Mr. Stark to calm and get a grip on himself. 

He is well aware that Howard's drinking has a lot to do with his mood swings, but it is no excuse.

Tony might not be his own, but Edwin Jarvis loves the little boy just the same and will do anything to keep him safe and happy.

*+~

“Start over. You can do better than that.”

Howard sounds cold and disinterested, doesn’t even really look at the machine that his son is presenting to him. He empties his glass and pours another drink, waving him away.

It stings - it always does, but Tony turns on his heel and leaves, biting back the answer he would like to give. This answer involves many strong words and a lot of sass . 

‘ _Maybe someday_ ’ , he thinks. ‘ _Someday, I’ll tell him where to shove it._ ’

Tony isn’t too sure it would even change anything. 

Soon after this particular interaction, Tony simply stops showing his father what he’s built. He’ll get praise when there are cameras or reporters around, but he knows it is all for show - he tries not to latch onto that, knowing it’ll only get him hurt in the end. Besides that, even at twelve years old he already has developed a distaste for reporters and camera teams. Their presence means putting up an act, playing happy family.

His “public face” is well practised by now, and he hates it.

By the time he leaves for college three years later, it is fine tuned to perfection.

By the time he’s twenty-one and owner of his father’s multi billion dollar company, with Edwin and Ana Jarvis no longer alive and both parents dead and buried as well, his public mask slips in place almost effortlessly. 

He kinda hates himself then like he did as a child but at the same time, it becomes like a suit of armor - it works. 

*+~

Many years down the road, Tony is sitting on the grass in his backyard where a lake spreads out for miles and miles behind him. It’s a beautiful spring day - not cold, but not too hot, either. It’s perfect, and in moments like this, his life as it is now still like a dream sometimes. 

Tony smiles down at his daughter sitting in front of him with her tiny arms outstretched, excited she just won their game of Memory - again. 

Morgan squeals in delight, face bright and joyful and so full of love, it almost hurts. She’s nearly four now and living with her is like having a ray of sunshine around at all times.

Tony picks her up and lifts her high in the air for a few seconds and Morgan giggles, the happy sound traveling through the entire garden and into the house, where Pepper is on a conference call with a group of SI managers and she smiles, quietly bathing in the happiness that is their home. She’ll join them as soon as this conversation is done.

Back out in the garden, Tony has flopped onto his back and laying in the grass, sun shining into his face and Morgan cuddled up on his chest. He’s so incredibly happy - having their daughter is like a miracle, and he wouldn’t ever trade it for anything. It also makes him think of his own father, even after so many years of largely ignoring the topic whenever possible. 

The thoughts of Howard Stark are very rarely happy ones, and Tony thought he would have finished dwelling on it - he’s an adult after all, and in control of his own life now. Struggling with insecurities and memories, sure. Amongst other things. But at least he can be his own person now.

But ever since Pepper got pregnant, the thoughts about his father kept creeping back into his mind. They have talked about this, still do, and Tony has sworn from the start that he wants to do everything different now that he’s got the chance.

From the day Morgan was born, he kept asking himself how a parent could fuck up as much as Howard had. And once again he swears, he’ll do everything different to break the cycle of coldness and neglect. 

Morgan, too, has inherited the brain that seems to run in the Stark family - pair that with Pepper’s own intelligence and wit, and you’ve got a wickedly smart child. 

They support and encourage her in all of this, but the most important thing is to let her simply be a kid. They support her interest in all the things, let her do little exercises that are meant for kids much older than her, and she solves them with ease. But it’ll never interfere with play time - they want to give Morgan the best and happiest childhood possible. She’ll have to grow up soon enough, so they want her to have as much time to simply _be_ as they can. 

And Tony wants to be involved in all of it, unlike his own father.

Children can be messy - stuff breaks, clothes and carpets get stained with unidentifiable substances. It happens, and it really is no big deal.

Sure, both Pepper and Tony are exhausted sometimes and simply don’t have the energy to deal with anything anymore that day. Things get frustrating then, but still, even in his worst state, Tony would rather hack off his own hands than snap or yell at Morgan like Howard did at him.

‘ _Break the cycle_.’ he thinks, and his daughter seems to pick up at the change of his mood, however small it might be.

“Daddy, are you happy?” she asks, and the genuine question makes him smile and hug her closer for a moment, nose stuck in her dark hair. 

“The happiest, munchkin.” he replies, and Morgan wrinkles her nose at the nickname, but the giggles that bubble up betray their ongoing game of her pretending to hate those names.

A little while later, Pepper steps out of the house, now dressed in jeans and one of Tony’s ancient AC/DC shirts instead of the suit she’s usually wearing for work. She finds her two favourite people fast asleep in the afternoon sun. 

Smiling, Pepper simply lies down next to them, head pillowed on Tony’s arm and one hand resting lightly on Morgans back. 

She breathes out, long and content, letting go of the day. It doesn’t take long for Pepper to fall asleep right then and there, too. 

*+~

Square: Verbal abuse

**Author's Note:**

> Warning:
> 
> \- Child abuse / child neglect  
> \- verbal abuse  
> \- hitting a wall  
> \- Bad parenting  
> \- Lasting effects of said childhood abuse  
> \- non-graphic brief mention of character death  
> \- references to alcoholism


End file.
